The match is made in heaven; it’s up to you to make the marriage

Take your marriage to the next level with the Marriage Transformation Seminar. It’s the only marriage program out there that offers the consistent, personal guidance from a trusted Torah authority.

Join other growth-orientated couples who have committed themselves to learn:

  • The Torah’s perspective on Marriage

  • Love is the Glue that Holds It All Together

  • The Role of Physical Relations in a Marriage (This might be an eye-opener for many people)

  • Relating to Emotions — Yours and Your Spouse’s

  • Cycles in the Relationship

  • His Needs, Her Needs — “Why in the world does she act that way?”

  • The Need to Change — “It’s not my fault; he pushes all my buttons.”

  • How to Fight — without Killing Your Marriage

  • People Skills l — The Danger of Criticism, Complaints, and Carping

  • People Skills 2 — How to Negotiate a Win/Win Settlement

Infatuation Has a Shelf Life


Introduction

The vast majority of adults wish for a fulfilling, lifelong marriage. Yet with divorce rates in the secular world topping 50% and the religious world not that far behind, most people don’t seem to find it.

The strange part is that every couple starts out starry-eyed and enthusiastic. “We’ll be different. Our marriage will last forever.” And they too fail — often within just a few years.

The question we have to ask ourselves is: what went wrong? And more significantly: what makes a marriage flourish? What can we do to insure that our own marriage is as good as it can be?

1. Infatuation, Love and Connection

2. Love is the Glue of Marriage

Everybody loves being in love; it’s the most magical feeling in the world. But falling in love is easy, effortless, natural. Staying in love takes work.

HASHEM created “magic” and “fireworks” to get a couple started, but the love that lasts, the stuff that will carry them through a lifetime together, is of their own making.

Drawing on the examples of Avraham and Sarah, this session provides couples the tools they need to build a home of happiness and harmony.

3. Respect and Love

The Rambam gives us a clear formula of how a husband and wife should treat each other. He must show her more love and respect than he shows himself, and she must honor him like a king. With that succinct advice, the Rambam summed up the very different needs of men and women. He needs honor; she needs love. Simple, isn’t it?

The challenge comes when the inevitable disagreements arise. No two people see things in exactly the same way, and a man and woman by nature have different perspectives on life. But disagreements need not spell disaster for a marriage. A successful couple bridges the gap by mutual respect. An unsuccessful couple just fights it out.

“My way or the highway” has no place in a marriage. And while we all know that, it is way too easy to forget in the heat of the moment. This session offers the  skills, techniques and understanding to prevent disagreements from escalating.

4.Equal Partners, Different Roles

The feminist movement told the world that for men and women to be equal, they had to be the same, but the Torah tells us differently. “Ezer k’negdo” means equal. The couple stands facing each other; one is not lower than the other. 

Whatever injustices the feminist movement sought to correct, it replaced them with a new set of problems, all stemming from the failure to recognize the differences between men and women. Perhaps the most important difference is in the way we communicate. Not only do men and women speak differently, they listen differently. In a marriage, that means each has to adapt to the other’s different style.

By highlighting the strengths of both men and women, this Shmuz teaches us how to meld our differences into a unified whole.

5. Men Are from Mars

Just as women have a natural inclination toward tznius (modesty) men have a natural drive toward kavod. Often termed “the male ego,” the woman who fails to stroke it is making a mistake. “Why is he such a baby?” she might wonder. “Shouldn’t he be above that?”

No woman should expect her husband to be as humble as Moshe Rabbeinu. Men need to be admired, especially by their wives. Continuing the theme of accepting each other’s differences, this Shmuz has lessons for both men and women on the role of honor in marriage.

6. Women are from Venus

While men require honor and respect from their wives, what women require is somewhat different. A woman needs to be cherished, to feel like she’s #1 in her husband’s world. But if he makes himself #1, the result will not be pretty.

This Shmuz teaches men how to be sensitive to their wives’ needs and reminds women how to cope when their needs are unfulfilled – with wisdom and not with anger.

7. Tools that Bond

A marriage series that did not include a discussion of physical intimacy would be almost as lacking as a marriage without it, so this Shmuz does not shy away from the topic. Desire is a natural part of the human make-up, and the halachos of taharas hamishpacha allow couples to harness it for a holy purpose. This Shmuz is an open and honest look at the most personal subject in every couple’s life.

8. Love Won’t Cure All

Hollywood may tell us that love will conquer all, but the truth is, bad middos (character traits) can wear love down. A couple may start out starry-eyed and in love, but angry outbursts, annoying habits, and selfish demands are love busters that get harder and harder to overlook.

Change isn’t easy, but failure to change costs more. This Shmuz is a stirring reminder that “happily ever after” can only result from work.

9. Why Couples Fight

As individuals on this planet, each of us is blessed with thousands upon thousands of things to be grateful for. Our eyesight. Flowers. The taste of an orange. The color blue. If we’re married, we have even more blessings to be grateful for. After all, no spouse, however flawed, is completely without merit.

But somehow, gratitude doesn’t come naturally to us. We’re so used to all this bracha (blessing) that we tend to just take it for granted.

This Shmuz applies the lessons of “The Art of Appreciation” to marriage. With concrete exercises that can help even the unhappiest of couples, this Shmuz can revolutionize your perception and give a jump-start to your marriage.

10. Communication-What it means and What it doesn’t mean

A husband and wife are supposed to be best friends, but too often, they don’t treat each other that way. It usually happens when one disappoints the other. She overspent one too many times at the store. He keeps forgetting to pick up after himself. Little things that become big bones of contention.

Friends don’t boss each other around. If you have a reasonable complaint, then make it in a reasonable way. Emphasizing “I” requests instead of “you” demands, this Shmuz gives us the finesse to handle disagreements without fighting. . . so we can remain best friends.

Course curriculum

  • 1

    Welcome to the Seminar

    • Welcome Video
  • 2

    Introduction

    • MTS - Introduction
    • Read the transcript of the introduction
    • 0. Introduction
  • 3

    1. Infatuation, Love and Connection

    • Infatuation
    • Read the transcript of 1- Infatuation and Love
    • 1. Infatuation and Love
  • 4

    2- Love is the Glue

    • Read the transcript of 2. Love is the Glue of Marriage
    • 2- Love is the Glue that Bonds
    • 2. Love is the Glue
  • 5

    3. Respect and Love

    • 3. Respect and Love
    • 3- Respect and Love
    • 3.Respect and Love
  • 6

    4. Equal Partners, Different Roles

    • 4. Equal Partners, Different Roles
    • 4- Equal Partners Different Roles
    • 4. Equal Partners Different Roles
  • 7

    5. Women are from Venus

    • 5. Women are from Venus
    • 5- Women are From Venus
    • 5. Women are fron Venus
  • 8

    6. Men are from Mars

    • 6. Men are from Mars
    • 6- Men Are From Mars
    • 6. Men are from Mars
  • 9

    7. Tools that Bond

    • 7. Tools that Bond
    • 7- Tools that Bond
    • 7. Tools that Bond
  • 10

    8. Love Won’t Cure All

    • 8. Love Won’t Cure All
    • 8- Love Won't Cure All
    • 8. Love Won't Cure All
  • 11

    9. Why Couples Fight

    • 9. Why Couples Fight
    • 9- Why Do Couples Fight
    • 9. Why Couples Fight
  • 12

    10. Communication

    • 10. Communication
    • 10- Communication
    • 10. Communication
  • 13

    11. A Chossons Guide to Physical Intamacy

    • 11. A Chossons Guide to Physical Intamacy
    • 11- A Torah Guide to Physical Intamicy
    • 11. A Torah Guide to Physical Intamacy
  • 14

    Download all the Audio Files

    • Download all of the audio files from the Marriage Transformation Seminar
  • 15

    Listen to the Audio Files

    • 0. Introduction
    • 1
    • 2
    • 3
    • 4
    • 5
    • 6
    • 7
    • 8
    • 9
    • 10. Communication - What it is and What it isn't
    • 11- A Torah Guide to Physical Intimacy
  • 16

    Marriage Seminar Manual - Download the PDF or read online

    • Read the Marriage Seminar Manual
    • Download the Marriage Seminar Manual

Testimonials

I used to think our marriage was over-until I discovered the Marriage Transformation Seminar. The more I'm changing the more I see automatic change in my husband. I can now say that I love and admire him. -Chavy

I can thank the Marriage Seminar for drastically improving my marriage. We were happily married- but the spark was missing. Now I feel like I got my wife and friend back. I feel more emotionally connected to my wife and I think she feels the same - Shlomie
Rabbi Shafier

Rabbi Shafier

The Marriage Seminar is for couples that are looking to enrich their marriage, regardless of how long they’ve been married or how successful they feel their marriage is. We all aspire to be rayim ahuvim with our spouse-best friends that love each other. It’s possible, it’s doable and it’s within your reach. I’ve designed the Marriage Seminar to show you how to get there. Please join me if you’re ready to make your spouse your best friend and have a beautiful Torah marriage.